Learning to love your open heart surgery scar

~ Carolyn Thomas

by Carolyn Thomas  ♥  @HeartSisters

Scar image: Defective Heart Girl

Each surgical scar on my body tells a story.  The big long one that tracks across my lower right abdomen tells of an appendix that ruptured on my 16th birthday – and the subsequent month I spent in hospital seriously ill with peritonitis and creepy drainage tubes.  Two scars on my right knee tell of surgery after an unfortunate slide down a big pile of gravel. Another meandering zig zag tells of a nasty piece of broken glass once embedded into my left palm, its evidence exquisitely masked by the skilled plastic surgeon who sewed my hand back up.

Women who have survived open heart surgery sometimes have traumatic stories to tell about their very noticeable chest scars, and mixed emotions about whether “to hide or not to hide” this evidence of their cardiac history, particularly in the early weeks and months post-op.

Consider, for example, 45-year-old Myra from New Jersey, who tells this story:

“I had a double bypass open heart surgery five months ago.  I feel so sad and stressed about my scar. Sometimes I cry when I’m in the shower, or if I try to wear a shirt and can’t wear it because it shows.

“I watch my friends at the pool wearing bathing suits while I’m sitting on the side watching them, wearing a t-shirt and shorts. I feel out of the group,  just don’t want to be there. I wish I could remove my scar. I’m so very stressed about it.”

Another heart patient observes:

“My illness has created more scars than just the physical ones, and these were far worse. I couldn’t – wouldn’t – believe I looked just fine.”

What these women have undergone is called a sternotomy (and keep on reading to learn more about how this surgical procedure works).

You might be surprised to learn that not all patients hate their scars.

One woman, for example, described the long sternotomy scar on her chest from her heart bypass surgery  as:

“A map of illness and recovery.”

Another wrote this:

“My scar shows the world what I have survived and overcome. They say this body is far from perfect – but it’s mine.”

And another woman added:

“They are my battle scars earned and gloriously celebrated as such.”

Or this, from a 17-year old girl:

“When I was 18 months old, my twin brother and I had to have open heart surgery. As I grew up, my scar grew with me. It’s about six inches long and very noticeable with low-cut shirts.

“I have lived with the scar my whole life. I am now 17 and it is hard for me having to tell friends and boyfriends how I got the scar. But I’m proud because I am living, so it’s like a battle wound, and I know that it does not matter.

“Scar or no scar, it has made me the person I am today.  We should be proud of overcoming, no matter how we got these scars.”

I loved this story from a 44-year old bypass surgery survivor whose chest scar has sometimes attracted unwanted public attention:

“A gentleman walked past me at a local Target. He was staring at my chest pretty intently.

“Well, I ran into this guy at least another two times while shopping, with him walking towards me staring openly at my chest. I think he was trying to get a better look at the scar.

“By the third time, I pointed directly at it and said to him: ‘Bear attack!’ He was VERY embarrassed – and walked away quickly!”

Perhaps the longer we live with our battle scars, the easier it can become to accept them – no matter what the source of those scars.  For example:

“I have a scar on my chest from when I had heart surgery as a child. It saved my life. And I have stretch marks from my first pregnancy which I always hated until a friend told me: ‘Yes, but they were created by your son!’ It made me totally re-think my view on them.

“Years later I got a C-section scar after giving birth to Son #2. My scarred-up tummy is beautiful and a reflection of two wonderful little boys and a life saved to have them.

“I may not be wearing crop tops or bikinis now, but I love my scars!”

Screen Shot 2016-06-16 at 1.31.07 PM
Shell Williams, Valerie Johnson and Michelle Houston are not shy about their open heart surgery scars

This trio of U.K. heart patients (pictured above) have interesting stories to tell about how they managed to adjust to their own scars. Shell Williams (left) found that showing her scar in a fundraising calendar helped her come to terms with it. Valerie Johnson (centre) went from hating her scar to seeing it as a sign of the life she’s lived. Michelle Houston (right) had heart surgery in her 20s and learned to view her scar as a sign of bravery.

♥

Now, I promised you an explanation of what creates those scars during your open heart surgery while you’re snoozing away in the O.R. – and here goes:

Your heart rests beneath the sternum – the organ’s skeletal chest armor and the central bone to which ribs are attached. Cracking this bone running down the centre of the chest requires pressure, power and precision, according to Popular Mechanics (yes, you read that right) and their very useful if unlikely guide Extreme How-To: Step By Step Heart Surgery – one of the clearest explanations of this procedure that I’ve seen yet. 

The most common type of saw used in heart surgery is an oscillating saw, which moves up and down at a rapid speed and works like a jigsaw, enabling the fine blade to cut curved lines. Sometimes – especially on patients who have had heart procedures done before – surgeons will use a saw that’s like the one used to remove casts. It stops immediately when it senses tissue. Very comforting concept.

Surgeons cut through the sternum either completely or partially, straight down the middle, but they don’t remove it. They then slowly spread apart the cut halves of the sternum with retractors, something similar to a brace. This allows the entire chest and heart to be open before them.

The standard approach to open heart surgery means the entire rib cage is opened and the heart muscle beneath is fully exposed. The patient is then placed on a heart-lung bypass machine which allows oxygenated blood to circulate throughout the body while bypassing the heart, thus allowing the surgeon to stop the heart and perform surgery while the heart muscle is not moving.

In the modified approach, the cardiac surgeon performs the surgery on a beating heart without the use of the heart lung machine, using instead a stabilizing instrument – sometimes used even for multi-vessel bypass surgery – without the need of the heart lung machine. This is sometimes an option for a patient with a good, strong heart muscle because the surgery itself places stress on the heart.

A partial sternotomy can be performed when limited exposure is adequate, frequently used for heart valve surgery.  Or some heart patients may be good candidates for Minimally Invasive Direct Coronary Artery Bypass (MIDCAB), a surgical approach that involves a small incision usually on the left anterior portion of the chest wall between the third and fourth or fourth and fifth ribs. In most cases, this incision is made through, not under, the breast.

Once the surgical procedure is completed (replacing blocked coronary arteries, repairing or replacing wonky heart valves, heart transplant), surgeons use customized plates and screws (they used to use wires) to hold the sternum and ribs in place as they heal. Fortunately, because heart surgeons break more bone than even orthopedic surgeons do, repairing the sternum has been the focus of many surgical advances in the past few decades.

BEST RESOURCE EVER! Here are some practical tips from Elizabeth Dole on managing your open heart surgery scar once you get home.

Big or small, let’s let the last word on scars fall to a heart patient who said:

“A scar is never ugly. We must see all scars as beauty. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means: I survived!”.

♥

Q: Have you been able to make peace with a major scar?

Scar image from Defective Heart Girl…

I wrote more about adjusting to scars and other cardiac issues in my new book, “A Woman’s Guide to Living with Heart Disease” (Johns Hopkins University, November 2017). 

Britain’s Princess Eugenie shows off her back surgery scar on her Royal Wedding day (October 2018)

Published by Carolyn Thomas

176 thoughts on “Learning to love your open heart surgery scar”

  2. I’ve been thinking about this for some time now. I see that all the women that I’ve heard about or have encountered with the trauma of open heart surgery have large surgical scar down the center of their chests.

    In 1985 my wife had open heart surgery and a pacemaker put in. Her surgeons had a very excellent approach to her surgery. They cut along the lower of the breast line then moved the breasts out away and then open up the center of the chest to do the surgery to me this was a much better approach. For her after surgery this allowed her to go on with life without the reminder of the surgery being broadcast to everybody no matter what outfit top she decided to wear, even with a 2 piece bikini it was almost undetectable. The other benefit with this method is also allowing the pacemaker to be tucked under the breast. I was amazed with the surgeon’s skills and consideration towards future life after surgery, I feel it made recovery after surgery emotionally beneficial. I thought by now in 2016 that this would be standard procedure for heart surgery on women. I thought I would just let everybody know about this so maybe it could be standard procedure by 2026.
    I write this in loving memory of my late wife.

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    1. Rod, my condolences to you on the death of your wife. It sounds like her surgical procedure back in ’85 was what’s called a Submammary Device Implant, which certainly does have cosmetic benefits. Pacemakers now are smaller and usually implanted in the upper chest via a relatively small (2″) incision). The longer central vertical scars you’re describing are likely from valve or coronary artery bypass graft surgeries. For some patients (if appropriate), there is also an alternative minimally invasive approach to bypass surgery that allows for smaller incisions which avoid splitting the breastbone. Thanks for sharing your wife’s experience here.

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  3. I was 7 months year old when I had open heart surgery due to a large hole in my heart. I now have a large 6 inch scar running down my chest and three dash scars running horizontally below it.

    When growing up I did everything I could to hide it. I even found several swim suits which covered it. I had people ask me and look at me differently when I did tell them, not understanding what it meant. Only three people knew the real truth and non of them judged me any differently. It wasn’t until I was 13 when a friend told me to embrace the beauty of my body that I quit worrying about hiding my scar. Now almost everyone knows and nobody cares.

    My boyfriend likes them and says they make me who I am. Most of the time he hardly notices them, much like me. I even met a guy at a volunteer dinner who was well into his 70s and said after the waitress passed us..“that woman is part of the Zipper Club, like me. Now you probably don’t what that is, but when you have heart surgery…” understanding what he was saying, I pulled the top of my shirt down an inch and pointed to my scar, saying I think I’m in the Zipper Club too then. We both started laughing.

    I am 20 years old, and in the prime of my life and what I’ve learned is not to let a few scars get you down. In fact, I haven’t met one person who was disgusted by my scars. I’ve met and made friends with people with the same scars as me on trips all the way across the world. Yes, people will stare at your chest and yes it can get awkward and annoying but they are only curious. Next time tell them it was a shark attack, you wouldn’t believe how many people are that gullible.

    I am proud to be part of Zipper Club, it makes me stronger, brings people together, and makes me a more interesting person with the story and struggles I had to encounter because of my scars. I wouldn’t change that for the world.

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    1. Hello No Ordinary Blogger! How lucky for you that at age 13 (such an impressionable age for young women!) your friend made that astute comment to you. She’s one smart cookie! Keep enjoying those Zipper Club encounters (or shark attack stories) with strangers – they make the world a much smaller and kinder place. Thanks for taking the time to share your perspective here…

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  4. I’ve had two open heart surgeries, one when I was two years old which left a scar on my back starting at the spine and running in a crescent shape stopping just before my left breast. The second was in January and left a ten inch scar straight down the middle of my cleavage. I can honestly say I love them, trust I am not a vain person but both of mine are beautiful, both were done by exceptionally gifted surgeons and both genuinely make me feel unique powerful strong and sexy.

    That’s how I choose to see them and if I was offered to have them removed tomorrow I’d refuse. I love them, they are part of me and remind me when I’m feeling low that I’m strong and I can survive almost anything. They’re inspirational 😘😘

    To anyone who is about to have the same surgery or just recovering, love your scar. It shows how strong brave and powerful you are and that you’re a survivor 😝😘😘❤️

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  5. I have plenty of scars myself. If you are a very strong person you don’t have to be afraid of people’s thoughts. You’re still pretty no matter what, that’s what counts. I have heart problems myself.

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  6. I’m 16 years old and I had a heart transplant five months ago. In the months before that I had two open heart surgeries when my doctors found out that I had cardiomyopathy that went undetected for years until I went into cardiac arrest.

    The hospital was my home for several months. For the first couple months I always had my scar covered and didn’t want to show it to anyone other than my nurses and Doctors because I had to. These past few months I’ve come to love my scars and I like to show them because they represent all that I have been through in this past year and I am proud of that.

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    1. Thank you so much Brianna for sharing your experience here. You’ve been through an overwhelming range of medical crises so far, and at such a young age. You bring up an important point: how you feel about your scars can change over time (from being embarrassed or reluctant, to loving them!) Best of luck to you…

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    2. I haven’t had heart surgery but just had a sternotomy 2 weeks ago to remove a mass under my sternum. It turned out to be not malignant and I feel torn between feeling so happy that it turned out ok and angry that I had to have this surgery. I guess how I feel about my scar… sometimes proud and happy, other times sad or angry and wanting to hide it.

      I hope you don’t mind me posting here but hard to find people who understand what I’ve been through. I guess part of hiding my scar also reflects that isolation and now feeling different from other people.

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      1. Cadibel, thanks so much for bringing up those happy/sad mixed emotions you describe. When I was in my 30s, I had to undergo breast surgery called a “quadrant resection” to remove a suspicious mass deep in the chest wall. Just as it sounds, 1/4 of my right breast was removed. Luckily, the pathology reports showed it was benign. I too felt so happy that it wasn’t cancer, but the downside has been living with the disfiguring results. Your example is interesting because although you share the same chest surgery scar with heart patients, you don’t feel part of that sisterhood of heart patients.

        But scars are still scars, no matter what’s caused them. You are still in very early days of recuperation – I hope that as time goes by and your scar begins to fade, you’ll have many more happy moments and far fewer angry ones. Best of luck to you….

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  7. I’m a 14 year old girl. And I love my scar. It’s hard to fit in sometimes but I know that the scar is what has me standing today. So I’m grateful for having it.

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  8. I had one surgery when I was 5 days old and one when I was 5 months old, so I’ve had scars ever since the very start of my life.

    I’m now 13 years old. My scars run from the bottom edge of my collar bone area (for lack of better word) down to just under my breasts. And then there is a small scar at the bottom of that scar, I’m not sure why, and two scars that are on either side on that small scar. I’ve never felt like my scars were anything but normal. I’m lucky that they’re very pale colored and not very noticeable, but noticeable or not scars don’t detract from your beauty or worth. At least you’re alive, right? Your heart works better now.

    I’m glad I’m still alive, because the surgery I had at 5 days was really risky. Until the second surgery my skin was extremely discolored until the second surgery. I also wouldn’t eat on my own until I was 16 months old.

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  9. My scar is proof that God has a bigger plan for me. So many others that I have known didn’t get the extra chance that I have been given. All of my aunts, uncles, grandparents and a brother have died from heart disease. I had a heart attack at 49 and thanks to the paramedics, life flight, and all of the wonderful Doctors and Nurses that saved my life.

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  10. I am 54 years old and when I was 4 years old I underwent open heart surgery to close one of two holes in my heart. I have a vague memory of the hospital room but that is all. I remember nothing else. I do have a large “Y” shaped scar on my chest, scars on my wrist and inner elbow area, as well as a half inch scar on my right side at my ribs, all from the surgery.

    Not one of these scars has ever bothered me. To me they have always been there and are a part of me. I love my scars. They tell me that my parents cared and fought for my life. I have never tried to hide them from anyone. I wear them proudly.

    Don’t be ashamed of your scars. They are a part of the story of your life!

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    1. Hi Melanie and thank you for weighing in here with your unique story, especially for your comment about your parents. As parents, we would all do whatever was medically possible to save our kids. When we talk about surgical procedures to correct childhood heart defects, we tend to focus on the little patient – not on the parents or family members who are worried sick as their little one is wheeled into surgery. Thanks for that reminder – helps to put scars into perspective, doesn’t it?

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  11. I am amazed I’ve not found more pages like this. I am 22 and I have a large ASD (atrial septal defect) which is a hole in the septum (wall) in the upper chambers of the heart. It’s congenital so I have had it my whole life but I only found out in August 2014 because my symptoms were becoming more noticeable, because the hole is getting bigger and the right side of my heart is stretching.

    About a month ago now, I had keyhole surgery to try and close the hole. Unfortunately the hole was too big and also has a tear in the rim so the device that plugs it was unstable and it was abandoned. I am now booked in for open heart surgery on the 28th October; I don’t know all the details of the surgery yet but I will find out at the beginning of October.

    I prepared myself from the beginning of the possibility of having a open heart surgery scar. I’m nervous about the surgery and the recovery period, because I don’t like not being in control of my own body and I like to be busy. The main symptom I suffer from because of the hole is chronic fatigue. It is the most frustrating thing to suffer from. I regularly say I’m tired; nobody takes you seriously when you say you’re tired.

    Tired is something everybody understands but also something nobody understands in my world. Trying to explain that my tired is different from their tired is frustrating. I just don’t most of the time and just get on with things like everybody else and know when I’ve hit my limit. I am an ambitious and extremely social person but a lot of the time I have to take a break from everything, when I really don’t want to.

    When I finally rest and try to sleep, my heart feels like it is beating so loud and drives me crazy. My heart skips a beat regularly. I get sharp pains and trying to catch my breath when having palpitations can be very scary and my eyes even black out as if I’m going to faint occasionally.

    I am thankful they found it now and not later. I am thankful I am young and strong and have no other health complications. My recovery should be straightforward. I am thankful my parents made me strong and my mother taught me to love and look after my body. The only issue I think I will have with my scar is that it is new and not the me I am used to.

    I would have the same attitude and feeling towards having cosmetic surgery. If my nose or boobs were changed, it would unsettle me and so will my scar at first. This all be taken into consideration.

    I am excited, I am excited to have a scar instead of a hole in my heart. I am excited to be stronger and have more energy. I am excited to do all the things I want to do and not be exhausted before I even start.

    I am excited to meet my scar and welcome it into my appearance and my life. I may struggle at first, I’m not naive to that prospect, but I welcome this change with open arms. I hope to also help others with acceptance in physical change in the future. I am in awe of how my body has looked after me for 22 years. I am proud of my body for coping so well and I will wear my scar with pride.

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    1. Jessica, thanks so much for your comment. I hope the weeks will fly by for you before your October surgery date to address these distressing symptoms. I am so impressed by your comments and your attitude! I just sent you an email, citing so many of your “quotable quotes” – e.g. “Tired is something everybody understands but also something nobody understands” or “I am thankful my parents made me strong and my mother taught me to love and look after my body.” Beautiful. Looking forward to hearing back from you…

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  12. I am a 44 year old open heart surgery patient. Before the surgery I was scared as heck but knew I needed it. I am 7 weeks out of surgery and I have no problem showing my scar. I love every piece of it because it showed I went through something and couldn’t be stopped! Don’t feel bad about your scar – it is not that bad and hey if they don’t like your scar they definitely couldn’t like you.

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  13. Well, I read some comments and I cried a lot. It’s been three years I have my scar and I can’t get over it.

    After the surgery I’ve never shown my scar to anybody, just to my mom and my boyfriend (because I have no option). I gave up on people I thought were my friends and some of them gave up on me when I was in the hospital. I know it is sad to hear this but I truly believe that my life is over because of this scar.

    I can’t use the clothes I was used to using and I tell myself that this scar is nothing, it does not mean I am inferior, but seeing everybody with no scars in the chest makes me feel like trash and ugly. Everyday I say this scar shouldn’t mean the end, but I don’t want to leave my house, and don’t want to go to work, I just want to lock myself in my house and never leave. I feel happy for the girls who didn’t let a scar destroy them, but I am not still strong enough to get over it.

    My head knows it is just a mark, but my heart can’t understand. I wanna say I am sorry if I wrote anything wrong, I am Brazilian and don’t know English very well, but this is the first space I found to talk about this.

    Thank you so much Carolyn Thomas.

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    1. Hello Jeniffer and thanks for sharing your story here. I’m glad you found this site, and your English is perfectly fine, far better than any of us can speak Portugese for sure! When feeling “stuck” in a place that feels bad, it’s often helpful to seek professional help to move forward in life. Please make an appointment today to talk to a pastor, counsellor or therapist. You deserve to be happy. Best of luck to you….

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    2. Jeniffer, I am very touched by your honesty and expressing (in beautiful English) what many other people are afraid to say. You’ve already taken the first step toward the emotional healing of your wound by sharing your story publicly.
      Please, take Carolyn’s advice and continue sharing your story with a pastor, counselor or therapist. She’s right. You deserve to be happy. You are already brave.

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      1. Curious to the Max, thank you for you kind words, You’re right I’ve already taken the first step, I just need to be strong and keep going ahead. Thank you so much for caring about me, it means a lot.

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    3. I am 6 weeks over my open heart surgery and angry as hell. All of my clothes show my scar, it’s sore and I feel so ugly. I think it shouts out – look, a defective person. I wish I had died.

      I am not normally vain but this sucks so much. My friends want to see it and go ewww. I hurt inside too. I don’t want intimacy with my husband. I am freaking out. I can’t seem to kick the pain killers when I try I get out of my mind, nasty, angry at my husband. I just feel utterly defeated.

      I had to order some tops to wear under my clothing that cover the scar but I really really hate it and feel really really ugly. I had a beautiful chest. My daughter says it shows I’m a survivor, yeah from being a defective person old before my time. People used to say I look younger than my age but this has aged my face tremendously. Pollyanna I am not.

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      1. Thanks Meridee for sharing your very honest personal opinions here. Every single person adapts differently. At six weeks post-op, you are still in very early days yet – and you’re still sore. That does suck!

        This doesn’t mean that you will suddenly wake up one morning and life will be all rainbows and sunshine, but it does mean that it’s remarkably common for heart patients to feel depressed and low in the early weeks, no matter what procedure they have just undergone, scar or no scar. It’s also very common to hear things like “the first few months were hell, but I’m much better now…”

        What I would not like to see (nor would you, I’m guessing) is that your reaction might get “stuck” here in this bleak place – just as Jeniffer described her own response three whole years post-op (above).

        My very strong advice to you is the same I offered to her: please make an appointment to talk to a professional therapist/pastor/or counsellor, and sooner is better than later, for the sake of your own mental AND cardiac health. I believe this is an important move for anybody who uses words like “defeated”, “defective”, “ugly”, “freaking out” and “I wish I had died”. You likely don’t believe me now, but it is possible, no matter what has dramatically changed in our bodies, to make peace with that dramatic change.

        I’d love to hear back from you in the coming months to let us know how life is going for you. Meanwhile, please take care of your precious self…

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        1. Thank you for your advice. I have talked to a counselor that is on the ok list for my medicare provider. Rated in our medical community she comes in at 116 out of 136 available providers. She made me feel worse, she can’t relate at all. It helps to be reminded that i am just fresh into this and I’m being impatient cause it gives me hope that this will get better. But I am really a get things done dynamo and this has me grounded to the point where I wonder if it will ever get better. I am afraid of the damage my moodiness is doing to my marriage although husband has tried so hard.Mine was a sudden no warning straight to the ER situation with surgery the next morning.I had no chance to register what was happening until it was over and I was unable to move virtually for several days, only to the bathroom. I had no warning that this was the long played out recovery. I am not a couch potato don’t watch tv don’t sit down much person. This is hell for me. I am wondering if there is anything I can put on this scar to speed its healing. Anyway, thanks.I just never dreamed it would change my life forever. I had no chance to even consider it just whammo here you go.My husband and I lead a very active demanding sailing life where we often go on long trips that require a lot of stamina. my worst fear is that I won’t be able to continue and he will leave me cause he still will want to go. He is suffering as much as i am over this.

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          1. Meridee, don’t think it will change your life forever. I had open heart surgery when I was 75 and the surgeons said they operated on me because of my resiliance, I am 79 and my heart is just fine. I do have arthritis & spine problems that keep me from walking, but if you are healthy otherwise and determined to walk, run, do whatever you will be just fine…

            My son didn’t think I would walk after surgery, I walked the next day. I had my ascending aortic valve replaced with a pig valve because I am a thin person. I could care less about the scar, I can barely see most of it and the rest is under my breast where they had drainage tubes; sometime they itch so I use aspercream/lidocream on those small ares…

            The surgeon said the pig valve should be good for 13 years, my sons said I am going to outlive them… I did go to the nursing home rehab for the first 3 weeks to get my legs back strong, the worst experience was eating enough because all food tasted rotten, even what my family brought in to me…. I do not have blocked arteries so I can eat anything, I just stuffed down the oatmeal with half & half and some fruit on the side to get strong again.

            The young staff at the rehab loved me, treated me like their grandmother and I loved them, except when they insisted I go for exercise, ride the stationary bicyle(boring), hand stuff, kick the ball, finally I was able to get on and off the bed unassisted and was released to return to my home..

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  14. Although I’ve not had heart surgery, I had a sternectomy when I was 23 to remove a pellet. When I was 8, I was shot in the chest with a pellet gun. At that time, the Dr’s thought it’d be best to leave the pellet in. Over the years, the pellet migrated in to my heart. I ended up having to have surgery to remove it at 23. I was more petrified of the surgery than when I was shot. I was put on the heart-lung bypass machine and my heart had to be removed to locate and remove the pellet. For a day or so, I was worried about the scar but after that, it didn’t phase me. I’d get stares and questions from complete strangers and would sometimes give bizarre answers or make silly remarks (breast implants gone wrong) but I’ve learned to accept it. I’ve never hidden my scar and am not ashamed of it. I look at it as me surviving not once (when I was shot) but twice (I made it through the surgery, too). 😊

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    1. Wow! What a story, Jillyn! And double survivals, as you say. I loved your “breast implants gone wrong” response. Thanks so much for sharing your unique perspective here…

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  15. This article had me in tears. For 22 years of my life, I thought I was the only one going through this. But after reading this article, I realized there are many more.

    I had my first heart surgery when I was 6 days old. At 22, I have had 5 heart surgeries. As a college student, it is very difficult for me to cope with this situation. Going to the beach/pool parties were difficult because I would see all my friends in cute bikinis and I am just covered up. Growing up, I was kind of ashamed of my scar, so I would always hide it. I would find dresses and tops with high necklines just to hide my scar.

    But as I am getting older, I am starting to realize that I should not be ashamed of my scar. This past spring break was the first time I wore a two piece bikini to the beach and I felt okay. Granted, there were moments when I started feeling insecure again, but I tried to push past through it. Maybe one day, I will be able to fully accept my scar and be able to wear v-necks and bikinis without even thinking twice about covering up

    Thank you for sharing this. I feel a little better knowing I am not alone.

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    1. Kathy, you were like a tiny cardiac warrior even as a tiny baby!! You are definitely not alone. Sometimes it’s a great comfort to remember that fact, isn’t it? And now you’ve managed a spring break outing in your bikini – congratulations to you!

      PS Remember that great “bear attack” story in the above post if anybody ever stares or comments! 😉

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  16. I just had heart surgery two weeks ago. It’s hard because I feel nobody really understands the mental pain that goes with it, reading your story sounded like mine with knee surgery, hernia surgery scar; my body has such a story of fight!!!

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    1. Liliana, I think you’re absolutely right – few people CAN really understand unless they too have experienced this. You are still in very early days, and you might find the words of Dr. Wayne Sotile helpful as you recuperate (read this, one of his 4-part series for newly-treated heart patients). Best of luck to you…

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      1. Well I am 68 and 1.5 years past a 5 bypass surgery, and I did not have any emotional issues. It did take several months before I could look at it and touch it. Now I’m upset that the scar is blending into the surrounding tissue. The dr. Did a great job. I’m a man by the way and Proud of my new chest!

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        1. Good for you, Barry. I’m not a physician, but it’s likely that if you could not even bear to look at your scar for “several months”, there were in fact some “emotional issues” at work.

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    2. I had heart surgery February 24, 2015. I HATE the scar. I am not going to be proud of it! I had heart surgery because I smoked, didn’t control my diabetes well enough and took NSAIDS because I didn’t think this would happen to me. It’s not a badge of courage, it’s proof of a failed suicide! I cannot stand the stares of stupid people in public and I know a lot of women feel the same because I have been looking for scars for the past 6 months and have seen NONE!

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      1. Brenda, many people feel as you do, and make an effort to conceal their open heart surgery scars from others. But you might be surprised to learn (and this is also evident just from reading the many comments here from other patients) that many people seem to have no problem at all revealing their scars – and trust me, none of us ever thought “this would happen to me” either. Just a couple of weeks ago, I participated in a patient focus group at our local hospital where the woman sitting across the table from me sported a scar from her heart transplant in October – she wore a pretty cotton top with a low scoop neck, no attempt at all to hide her substantial scar. So even though you haven’t spotted any visible chest scars yet does not mean that they aren’t out there!

        You are in very early days yet (barely six months) when virtually all heart patients do feel quite self-conscious (for many different reasons) about their new scars. I hope that with time you’ll no longer think “failed suicide” whenever you see your own scar, as blaming yourself relentlessly is not good for either your emotional or cardiac health. What’s happened has already happened, it’s in the past and you cannot change that. What matters today is how you choose to move forward, not how you managed to get to this point. It can take time to arrive at acceptance (of all kinds of changes in life, not just scars!) – don’t rush it, just take one day at a time…

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      2. I have just been told that I need triple bypass surgery in about two to three months. I have been diabetic and not well-controlled for 51 years. I rather stupidly watched the video of the actual operation which was quite scary! I could have stents but they would probably need to be replaced in two years! The recovery time sounds longer than I expected as well for a bypass. Any thoughts on this?

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        1. Hi Jenny – I’m not a physician so can’t offer an opinion about your specific case, but I can tell you generally that there are good reasons cardiologists might choose one procedure over the other. Recovery time is indeed longer for bypass surgery, but many studies suggest that for patients living with diabetes, such procedures do show better outcomes, greater chance of survival, and fewer recurring cardiac events.

          It’s not stupid, by the way, to watch a video of whatever medical procedure you’re about to undergo – even if it’s scary. Although surgery scenes can appear shocking at first when we’re not used to watching them, they can also serve to inform and educate us. You have a few months between now and your procedure, so now is the time for you to do some homework and learn as much as you can about your diagnosis and all potential treatments. If you’re not 100% sure after discussing options with your physician, you can request a second opinion to help you decide. Best of luck to you!

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  19. I have a scar from heart surgery at 4 years old due to a congenital heart defect and a 12 inch scar on my right side from scoliosis surgery at 12 years old. Growing up with these scars was very difficult. I hated them and my mother telling me to cover them up didn’t help either.

    But now at 26 years old I can proudly say I love my scars! I have no problem wearing low cut shirts or bikinis in the summer. And yes people do stare, but it really doesn’t seem to bother me. I didn’t accept my scars until I was about 23. Accepting my body as is, reading forums like this and meeting other people with similar stories has helped me tremendously! Now I honestly wouldn’t know what I’d do without them.

    They are a constant reminder that I survived what was suppose to kill me.

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