When “Look on the bright side!” feels wrong

~ Carolyn Thomas ~ 16 Comments

by Carolyn Thomas   ❤️   Heart Sisters (on Blue Sky)

“If you have to get cancer, yours is a good kind to get!”  That’s what someone recently said out loud to me. It’s the kind of thing you might say out loud if you were truly trying to cheer me up but weren’t quite sure what on earth to say to a heart patient with a newly diagnosed malignant breast tumor the size of a small grapefruit. Yale University professor of psychology Dr. Laurie Santos calls this cheerfully minimizing response to a cancer patient as “the kind that decides ‘bad’ negative emotions could be fixed if only we had a more ‘look on the bright side!’ attitude.”

Nobody wants to say the wrong thing to any newly-diagnosed patient, but that perky “good kind of cancer” comment landed with a hollow thud. It’s also an example of something that only a patient might say one day – when this is behind her.
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Where are you on the Distress Thermometer?

~ Carolyn Thomas ~ 18 Comments

by Carolyn Thomas   ❤️   Heart Sisters (on Blue Sky)

I’ve been sleeping poorly lately. I think I have an ice pick headache coming on. I can’t seem to concentrate. I feel utterly overwhelmed. I cried off and on for an entire day last week. I am clearly distressed. 

I recognize this distress because I’ve experienced a similar response in the past – like surviving a misdiagnosed “widow maker” heart attack back in 2008, for example. That was pretty darned distressing.  The National Institutes of Health describe distress as “emotional, social, spiritual, or physical pain, or suffering that may cause a person to feel that they are not able to manage or cope with overwhelming changes caused by normal life activities or a serious medical diagnosis.”  Those are almost exactly the words I said to a friend just this past week when I was wailing into the phone about my new breast cancer diagnosis: “I just don’t think I am able to get through this!”   (You can read more about my breast cancer experiences in these posts).

Enter the Distress Thermometer:
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Connection instead of isolation: my waiting room experiment

~ Carolyn Thomas ~ 8 Comments

by Carolyn Thomas   ❤️   Heart Sisters (on Blue Sky)

When was the last time you struck up a casual conversation with somebody you don’t know?  Psychologist Dr. Gillian Sandstrom, who teaches at the University of Essex in the U.K., studies this phenomenon, and now describes herself as a “talker-to-strangers”, adding:

“The benefit shown in my research is that chatting with strangers is good for your mood.”    .
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Questions heart patients should ask before getting an MRI scan

~ Carolyn Thomas ~ 19 Comments

by Carolyn Thomas   ❤️   Heart Sisters (on Blue Sky)

Since I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April, I’ve become obsessed with my hospital’s diagnostic imaging procedures – so far, that list includes my mammogram, ultrasound, MRI, CT scan, bone scan, heart scan (MUGA) – and of course (although not a scan) – my all-important Core Biopsy procedure at the Breast Imaging Clinic.  Keeping track of appointment instructions – plus drinking water non-stop to flush stuff like contrast dye out of my kidneys – are now my full-time (unpaid) jobs.  You can read more about my breast cancer experiences so far in these posts. 
 Continue reading “Questions heart patients should ask before getting an MRI scan” →