Tag Archives: Toni Bernhard

What’s your ‘being sick’ style?

20 Aug

by Carolyn Thomas    @HeartSisters

Here at Heart Sisters World Headquarters, it has come to my attention that there seems to be a divide between two types of recuperation styles when women get sick.  I don’t mean urgent/call 911/another-freakin’-heart-attack kind of sick, but more like your garden variety feeling-like-hell when you’re knocked flat in bed with a flu, a cold, or recovering from a bad flare of chronic illness symptoms.

The two most common responses from my Heart Sisters blog readers (always a goldmine of data!) are these:
Continue reading

I need a nap!

23 Apr

I was never a napper before my heart attack. Naps, I used to believe, were only for people like my Dad, whose custom was to doze off after lunch for half an hour or so on the LaZBoy in our farmhouse. But now, I love naps! And because I live with ongoing cardiac symptoms (thanks to a subsequent diagnosis of coronary microvascular disease), I need those naps. If I skip my daily afternoon nap, I pay for it later by feeling sick and shaky.

Author/napper Toni Bernhard recently described in her wonderful Psychology Today column why naps are so important:

“Most people who are chronically ill benefit from scheduling at least one rest period into their day because it helps keep symptoms from flaring.” 

Yet paradoxically, she also notes that taking a “time out” by pausing to rest can be one of the hardest challenges that chronically ill patients face. Continue reading

A NOT-To-Do List for the chronically ill

6 Oct

Today’s guest post comes from the wisdom of Toni Bernhard, a former law professor who, one fine day many years ago, went to Paris for a holiday with her husband, got sick, and didn’t get better. As such, Toni’s had to learn a lot about being a patient, as she described in her wonderful award-winning book, How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and their Caregivers

In this guest post, Toni lists items that belong on a NOT-To-Do list for all those living with chronic pain or illness.

I love To-Do lists. I depended on them when I was working outside the home. I’ve depended on them since my bed became my office. The one difference is that, pre-illness, I had fancy notepads and appointment books in which to keep my lists. Now I scribble them on any random piece of paper I can find.

A few weeks ago, I realized I could benefit from a NOT-To-Do list that would remind me of my limitations – limitations I often ignore either because I’m in denial or because I want to please others.  Continue reading

It lasts as long as it lasts

12 Mar

by Carolyn Thomas  @HeartSisters

With deep calm, actor Susan Saint James said this after the tragic plane crash death of her youngest child, Teddy:

“His was a life that lasted 14 years.”

Hearing this, Toni Bernhard, author of the highly-recommended book, How To Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers, tried using Susan’s sentiment to try to make sense of her own losses over a decade of being bedridden with a seriously debilitating illness. For example:  Continue reading