When we judge the poor the way we judge the chronically ill

by Carolyn Thomas    @HeartSisters

There’s an old joke about a woman who is successfully losing weight by following a very strict diet. But one day, her hubby returns home to find her sitting at the kitchen table finishing off a Hershey chocolate bar. He says to her: “Honey! You’ve been doing so great on your diet until now! How could you eat that chocolate bar?”

And her reply:

“You don’t know how many I wanted . . .”

That response sums up a profound message that goes beyond mere diet-cheating to how swiftly we rush to judgement based simply on what we see.  Mostly, we rush to judge other adults based on actions or behaviours that are none of our business (sometimes criticism is thinly veiled as “caring”I care about you so I have to mention the chocolate bar I see you eating. . . )  We judge others because they are not like us, because they make choices we wouldn’t, or because they make choices we might secretly want to make, too – but stop ourselves from doing.

Dr. Lisa Wade’s provocative essay on how we judge those living in poverty recently reminded me of how those living with a chronic illness diagnosis like heart disease can feel similarly judged.  Continue reading “When we judge the poor the way we judge the chronically ill”

We know we should do ____, but instead we do ____

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by Carolyn Thomas   ♥  Heart Sisters (on Blue Sky)

I read this on the side of a Starbucks coffee cup. Seriously. It was written by Harvard psychologist Dr. Daniel Gilbert, who said:

“The fact that we can make disastrous decisions even as we foresee their consequences is the great unsolved mystery of human behaviour.

“When you hold your fate in your hands, why would you ever make a fist?”

Why, indeed?  Sometimes I think of Daniel Gilbert’s words when I make decisions of varying levels of potential disaster even when I know perfectly well that I will most definitely NOT like the consequences of doing so.  Continue reading “We know we should do ____, but instead we do ____”

Confessions of a non-compliant patient

by Carolyn Thomas @HeartSisters

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Consider this scenario, dear reader:  I’m lying in bed one Sunday evening, settled in to watch 60 Minutes for the next hour. But this Sunday is different from any other Sunday because I’ve had three new things to deal with during the past week that are utterly separate from my laundry list of daily cardiac concerns:

  1. I’ve been having physiotherapy three times a week because I twisted my right knee (same one I had knee surgery on seven years ago).
  2. I’m using a new prescription ointment for a pesky patch of psoriasis on my left elbow.
  3. I’m wearing a brand new acrylic mouth guard to bed every night that my dentist has just made for me to help treat a longstanding jaw alignment problem.

So. Here I am lying in bed that Sunday evening as our story unfolds . . . Continue reading “Confessions of a non-compliant patient”

“To just be a person, and not a patient anymore”

by Carolyn Thomas  @HeartSisters

Some lively online discussions recently, initiated by yet another interesting article from Dr. James Salwitz called Why Is The Doctor Angry?  This time around, Dr. Salwitz tells the story of one of his patients who had become very ill, but then emailed a doctor 3,000 miles away in California rather than consult his own doctor as he became sicker and sicker. The California doctor forwarded the email back to Dr. Salwitz, who immediately sent his patient to hospital with multiple system failures. Dr. S felt angry about his patient’s behaviour, explaining:

”    Did I look him in the eye and tell him that I was upset, that he had neglected his own care by not reaching out and in doing so he violated the basic tenants of a relationship which said that he was the patient and I was the doctor?”

“Did I remind him what I expect from him and what he can expect from me?  You better believe it – I was really pissed!”   Continue reading ““To just be a person, and not a patient anymore””