spoon theory – Heart Sisters

by Carolyn Thomas ♥ @HeartSisters

I’m a wee bit embarrassed to admit that my Halloween costume is still on a hanger on prominent display, hanging from a bookshelf in the bedroom, waiting to be boxed up and put away. I’m thinking of calling it a room decor feature by now. It’s a spectacular clown costume, I must say, complete with big baggy pants in ravishingly bright colours and, of course, with its own rainbow clown wig. I’ve worn it dozens of times over decades, and often loaned it out to Halloween party-goers among my family and friends, too.

It’s pretty nice, but it’s not nice enough to explain why, after over a month, I haven’t been able to put this costume away yet. I suspect my utter inability to do so reflects the state of my life these days, and the fact that my days are typically divided into these two distinctly unique phases: Continue reading “Still too tired to put away the Halloween costume…” →

by Carolyn Thomas ♥ @HeartSisters

I showed up bright and early for my 7 a.m. weekly Toastmasters meeting, just as I had been doing every week for 28 years. (I did miss several meetings after being freshly diagnosed with a heart attack in 2008 – the year that, sadly, I lost the coveted Rise and Shine Attendance Award to my archrival, Jim). But because early morning is almost always my best time of day (e.g. minimal cardiac symptoms), if you’d met me for the first time only during that very early weekly meeting, you would not have guessed that I live with something called inoperable coronary microvascular disease (MVD).

I don’t wear a neck brace or leg cast or any other visible sign that something is wrong. Because this debilitating heart condition is invisible, I often look and sound relatively “normal”. And if you’re lucky enough to live with healthy privilege, it can be almost impossible to understand what having any invisible chronic illness is like. Continue reading “Invisible Illness Week – seeing what others can’t see” →