Tag: when your mother dies

10 years after my mother’s death

~ Carolyn Thomas ~ 27 Comments
                “The Perogy Pinchers” ~ Lesley Lorenz *

by Carolyn Thomas   ♥  @HeartSisters

It will be ten years ago tomorrow that, after hearing the news on the phone, I re-read the chapter called When Your Mother Dies, in Rona Maynard’s wonderful book, My Mother’s Daughter:

“Baby showers herald the transition to motherhood. Roses, greeting cards and invitations to brunch celebrate mothers every May. Yet, despite our culture’s motherhood mystique, no rituals mark the psychological journey we daughters begin when our mothers die.”     Continue reading “10 years after my mother’s death” →

Bereavement eating: does grief cause carb cravings?

~ Carolyn Thomas ~ 23 Comments

by Carolyn Thomas   ♥   @HeartSisters

(originally published here after my mother’s death nine years ago today)

I’ve heard it said that some people experience a loss of appetite during stressful times like a death in the family.  These people are not my relatives. Indeed, in our Ukrainian family tradition, we eat when we’re happy, we eat when we’re upset, and we eat during all possible emotions in between.

Every family gathering surrounding my mother’s death in 2012 was no exception.

For example, the delicious lunch following her funeral service was a true labour of love prepared by the women of my mother’s church, just as the women of churches, mosques, temples, synagogues and neighbourhoods around the world have been doing for mourners since time began.         .               . Continue reading “Bereavement eating: does grief cause carb cravings?” →

A Mother’s Day without my mother

~ Carolyn Thomas ~ 19 Comments

by Carolyn Thomas  ♥  @HeartSisters

Based on a post originally published here on May 13, 2012

As Christopher Buckley wrote in his memoir, Losing Mum and Pup, when the last of your parents dies, you are an orphan. This is poignantly true if that parent is your mother.

“You lose the true keeper of your memories, your triumphs, your losses. Your mother is a scrapbook for all your enthusiasms. She is the one who validates and the one who shames, and when she’s gone, you are alone in a terrible way.”

This month marks both the occasion of my mother’s birthday (she would have turned 90 on May 7th, which was coincidentally the third birthday of Everly Rose, the adorable great-granddaughter she would never meet) and yet another Mother’s Day when I didn’t send my Mom a card and flowers. I’m getting used to that reality by now. She died six years ago on February 21st, 2012.  Continue reading “A Mother’s Day without my mother” →

A motherless Mother’s Day

~ Carolyn Thomas ~ 8 Comments

Based on a post originally published here on May 13, 2012

This month marks both the occasion of my mother’s birthday (on May 7th, coincidentally the birthday of her first great-grandchild, Everly Rose, born in 2015) and, of course, Mother’s Day – yet another Mother’s Day when I didn’t send my Mom a card and flowers. That’s because she died on February 21st, 2012. Last month, she missed the birthdays of her first child (me) and her first grandchild (my own son, Ben) – but since the cruel diagnosis of vascular dementia invaded her brain cells some time ago, she’d long been unable to keep track of things like family birthdays anymore.

As Christopher Buckley wrote in his memoir, Losing Mum and Pup, when the last of your parents dies, you are an orphan:

“But you also lose the true keeper of your memories, your triumphs, your losses. Your mother is a scrapbook for all your enthusiasms. She is the one who validates and the one who shames, and when she’s gone, you are alone in a terrible way.” Continue reading “A motherless Mother’s Day” →