Talking my language

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Ah, the joys of (mis)communication! Consider, for example, these real-life chart notes written about hospital patients  in the U.K. :

  • She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
  • Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  • The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
  • The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
  • Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
  • Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old female, mentally alert but forgetful.
  • The patient refused autopsy
  • Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40lb weight gain in the past 3 days.
  • Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
  • She is numb from her toes down.
  • While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
  • The skin was moist and dry.
  • Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
  • Patient was alert and unresponsive.
  • She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
  • I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
  • Skin: somewhat pale but present.
  • Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Q: Have you come across funny chart notes like these?

7 thoughts on “Talking my language

  1. Loved this one, Carolyn. Sadly, in my opinion, Grade 6 grammar has gone by the wayside. One wonders if anyone knows what a noun or a verb is these days, never mind a misplaced modifier!!! To say nothing of “me & her/him… ..” that has almost become mainstream it seems.

    Thought of all the ‘baggers’ while watching Downton Abbey last night. I hope Kit survived the scene of the bride-to-be being left at the altar!!!

    Cheers.
    Nora

    Like

    1. My nurse friends would probably remind us that they are sometimes so rushed when charting that grammar does go by the wayside – out of necessity! Imagine what a generation raised on no-rules texting and Tweeting will come up with next . . .

      Thanks again for helping out with our bag-stuffing-bee last week, Nora! And watching Downton Abbey can be very traumatic these days, right? 😉

      Like

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