Ah, the joys of (mis)communication! Consider, for example, these real-life chart notes written about hospital patients in the U.K. :
- She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
- The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
- Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
- Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old female, mentally alert but forgetful.
- The patient refused autopsy
- Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40lb weight gain in the past 3 days.
- Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
- The skin was moist and dry.
- Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
- Patient was alert and unresponsive.
- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
- Skin: somewhat pale but present.
- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Q: Have you come across funny chart notes like these?
7 thoughts on “Talking my language”
Loved this one, Carolyn. Sadly, in my opinion, Grade 6 grammar has gone by the wayside. One wonders if anyone knows what a noun or a verb is these days, never mind a misplaced modifier!!! To say nothing of “me & her/him… ..” that has almost become mainstream it seems.
Thought of all the ‘baggers’ while watching Downton Abbey last night. I hope Kit survived the scene of the bride-to-be being left at the altar!!!
My nurse friends would probably remind us that they are sometimes so rushed when charting that grammar does go by the wayside – out of necessity! Imagine what a generation raised on no-rules texting and Tweeting will come up with next . . .
Thanks again for helping out with our bag-stuffing-bee last week, Nora! And watching Downton Abbey can be very traumatic these days, right? 😉
Oh what a joy to read, sort of like some newspaper headlines.
They ARE funny, aren’t they?
Yes. Love them….
I was in stitches. Is such hearty laughter good for the heart? 🙂
Oh, absolutely good!